I have been struggling to write for a while now… months. I look at a blank piece of paper or a MS Word document and I freeze. All these millions of thoughts and emotions churning inside of me and I just cannot put them into words- I feel like I’ll burst any moment from the pressure of the unexpressed and the unexplained. Months and months of joys and sorrows forever lost in the dark chasms of my mind, because I am have no faith whatsoever on my memory. The echo of the past is just that- a poor imitation- it fades over time and the weight of the new.
I remember deciding as a young child, my fragile emotions in tatters, that nobody cared enough, and so I won’t let them revel in the wreckage of my heart. I’ll keep my feelings so private that no one will ever know that they exist. And I did, for years and years until I forgot the reason why, and it became a part of me. I internalize all that I feel and they find expression in what I create, in what I write. Therefore, it is extremely painful for me when words refuse to cooperate with me.
Consequently, I have come to the only real solution to this particular problem. I must force myself to write everyday, anything, everything, even random nonsense, and incomprehensible gibberish will do. But write I must, to stay healthy and happy. Today is the first day of this new resolution and I am trying to be coherent even as my mind is all over the place ( alien abduction, whether I should buy an ukulele or a guitar, if Territi Bazar is as cool as they say… you get the drift).
Anyway, I have decided that I will share in this post what I have been up to in the last three months, my lifestyle, apart from all the gloomy stuff.
- Joined a ceramic class
- Discovered that I am an INFP ( in case you don’t know what that is google MBTI)
- Reading obsessively about MBTI and typing all my friends. ( still reading and typing)
- Picked up the Game of Thrones tune on my harmonica
- Read a few books- The Graveyard Book, The scion Ikshvaku, The Butterfly and other stories, currently reading What is Cinema? and read quite a few self help books and chicklits in between *_*
- Have taken a special liking to clicking portraits of strangers who are kind enough to not chase me with their walking sticks.
- Have developed an interest in the digital arts
- Have taken to long hours of discussion on the probability of a dear friend turning into a dragon in the near future , and if that indeed happens , what kind of dragon. Welsh Green won by a large margin.
- Have become addicted to yogurt.
- Have developed a major crush on Khaleesi and Arya Stark.
- Oh and finally and the most important of all. Got a new pair of specs. I look way geekier than usual and absolutely love it.
Ok enough! Will stop rambling now 🙂